Wanted: Australian international cricketer! Comedy ad posted online after Aussies struggle on opening day of Ashes series

23 November 2013 9:29 AM

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Do you play a little bit of Cricket? Are you an Australian national or connected to one? Do you like to gloat? If it’s yes to all three, then you little Ripper! ...

Invented by the English in the 16th Century, the game of Cricket has been played in Australia since the early Aussie colonisation period (banished convicts) of the 19th Century. In recent years the Australian National Cricket team has had a poor recent run of results against the Poms, winning just 2 matches from the last 3 Ashes tests. Due to current underperforming talent a rare opportunity has now arisen for any new Cricketers to join a deflated Ashes team hoping to avoid another humiliating test defeat.

Although he hasn’t been in and around cricket for very long you will report directly to the recently appointed Australian Team Captain. Involved with both on and off the pitch activities you should be the type of Cricketer capable of combining high levels of stamina (to cope with extensive periods in the outfield) with strong literacy skills (you will be required to complete homework which identifies three areas of improvement).

To qualify… We want to hear from egocentrical Australians who can bat like Kevin Pietersen, bowl like Kevin Pietersen, field like Kevin Pietersen and be generally as good as Kevin Pietersen. In more detail:

• You must know your Wrong’uns from your Pie Throwers;

• Have perfected the art of sledging;

• Can hold a bat and throw a ball;

• Have the ability to remain positive at all times (especially under challenging circumstances);

• Be able to cope with long stints in the field;

• Be able to uphold the England v Australia rivalry with vigour (some bar room brawl experience would be advantageous);

• It would also be advantageous if you have a receding hair line (future hair loss advertising opportunities could be available);

• Have a big ego.

If you enjoy working outdoors, like the idea of free lunches during tests (Vegemite, Tim Tams, Chiko Rolls) and can cope with a nation’s slim hopes on your back then Guru Careers want to hear from you.

Please note: We are particularly interested in hearing from talented South Africans with strong Test experience (100+) and an outstanding natural ability. Previous applicants and employees need not apply. Apply now...

Keywords: International Cricketer, Australian Cricketer, Cricket, Cricket Jobs, International Cricket Jobs, ICC, Senior Cricketing Jobs in Australia, Guru Careers, Australian Job Adverts, Australian Cricket, Aussie, Cricketer, Cricket Jobs at the Gabba, Australia.

IMPORTANT: You will only be considered for this vacancy if you complete the short application form on the Guru Careers website (click here)...

Source: dailymail.co.uk

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