Eight cliches to look out for during tonight's AFL national draft

21 November 2013 12:46 PM

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Eight cliches to look out for during tonight's AFL national draft

TUNING in for tonight's AFL draft? Or being forced to watch it by that footy-loving roomie or partner of yours? Well, we've got a game you and the whole family can play.

The AFL draft is a sport in itself, where the cliches fly as thick and fast as the selections.

While not all picks are predictable (especially after the first dozen), you can bet some things never change.

Commentators will gush over the young talent while club officials will do their best to try to temper fans' expectations on that next big thing.

Here's some things to keep your eyes out for. Tick them off as you watch and see how you go.

Families of the likely Top 10 picks have jetted in from across the country to the Gold Coast for tonight's draft. They've been flown there because their son is among the hottest prospects in the country.

They know they're going to be drafted. They've known for quite some time. So there's no reason to cry, is there? Wrong.

Looking at pics from drafts of yesteryear, we couldn't help but keep coming back to one thing: who are these pimply-faced porkers and how come an AFL club ever drafted them? We may be exaggerating a tad there, but take a good, hard look at these future stars today. They won't look the same in a few years' time. They'll be mean, lean running machines.

"Sorry, can you repeat that please, North Melbourne?" With microphones perched on tables at all 18 AFL clubs - as well as at the lectern of AFL boss Andrew Demetriou - it's amazing the event runs as smoothly as it does. But you can bet the league boss will have to get at least one club to repeat their desired pick at some stage throughout the night.

The draft is all about the players, but don't be surprised to see a few girlfriends getting in on some of the glitz and glamour of the event.

It's a long haul from draft night to the red carpet of the Brownlow Medal, but some young ladies may get their first taste of the AFL footy spotlight on draft night.

No matter how hard they try to sell it, there's probably a hint of disappointment for a lot of draftees forced to pack up and move interstate. But you wouldn't know it from interviews.

"I'm just thrilled to get a chance to play league footy ... I knew I could be drafted anywhere ... I can't wait to get up/over/across there and meet the boys" is a common response.

Occasionally we'd love to see a truthful answer, something along the lines of "I'm a bit of a Mummy's boy to be honest and I'd have liked to have stayed at home," preferably while Brisbane-based Irishman Pearce Hanley shakes his head and tuts disapprovingly in the background while Skyping his family 16,000km away. We can only hope.

There's one every year. The pick that stuns even commentators. You know something's up when no photo appears on screen and Kevin Sheehan, a Jedi Master among the draft, struggles to come up with something about this "relative unknown". Let's hope there's a few on Thursday night as they always spice up the evening.

As if you didn't feel old enough watching people born in the mid 1990s (!) living the dream while you munch Cheezels and scratch yourself on the couch, there'll always be one or two haircuts on show guaranteed to turn you into your dad.

"What the hell is that!" you'll yell before shaking your head and reminiscing about the glory manly-mullet-filled days of yore.

It's the one day (or night) of the AFL season when every club wins. Just ask them.

"We were really happy with how our night went ... we think we've managed to fill a few holes on our list, etc, etc," your club will say.

Like point 5, this is another case where just once we'd like someone to tell us that perhaps their night had been less than ideal, maybe...: "Every time we wanted to pick a bloke (insert club of your choice) swooped in and chose that exact player we wanted! What a load of bull---! You wouldn't read about it etc."

A young Western Australian who once dreamt of playing in the NBA could be this season's AFL draft bolter.

Source: heraldsun.com.au

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